We Salute the The Hardest Working Characters in Gaming

While most of America is spending Labor Day relaxing and enjoying the waning heat of summer, we at Tech-Gaming decided it would be fitting to honor the hardest working characters in video games. After all, games have often incorporated working class sensibilities- from the hunting and gathering required by most RPG quests, the farming and maintenance required by Harvest Moon and Animal Crossing, to the accumulation of suburban trinkets in Katamari Damacy.

Mario

                            Left: Mario in 1981, rescuing Pauline. Right: Mario in 2001, temporarily ‘displaced’.

A simple glance at Mario’s resume shows both his fortitude and his tendency toward vocational wandering. After entering the job market in 1981’s Donkey Kong, Mario began his career as a carpenter, were an escaped gorilla destroyed his work site. Unflustered by a barrage of barrels, rivets, flames, and cement pies, our hero then moved into plumping/extermination work. Faced with life-size turtles, crabs, and flies, Mario was able to pocket enough gold coins, and left the dreary underground for the Mushroom Kingdom. Forgoing his plumbing skills, Mario embarked on a physical crusade to release the kidnapped Princess Peach in 1985. Here, Mario languished until 2002, when he began on an environmental movement, washing stars with an improvised backpack. Although some believe that Mario practiced medicine under the name “Dr. Mario”, there is no record of his medical degree on file. Today, Mario had enjoyed success from an appearance at the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, to weekend Kart racing, where he has patched any differences with the Kong family.

Cooking Mama

                   A model displays Mama’s new clothing line, Grilled Onion, featuring aprons and head scarves.

The ever-patient and perpetually aproned has now been the star of three games in a scant two years. Rivaling Rachel Ray in both fame and cheer, Mama has developed a systematic way to teach the most kitchen-wary gamer necessary culinary skills. By breaking down the cooking process into a series of short ten second steps, Mama has revolutionized and speed meal creation.

While critics cite her eyes erupting with brilliant flames when apprentices fail at a task, Mama is known by many for her gentle side. “Don’t worry, Mama will fix it.” is her mantra when a recipe step is bungled.  Currently Mama is looking for work, as her publisher Majesco is in danger of being delisted. We wish the best for Cooking Mama on all future endeavors.

Miner 2049er

Bob, in 1983, bravely facing a vat of hazardous materials. Right- Sleek and tone in 2007 after giving up the moonshine.

As a Royal Canadian Mounted Police offer, poor Bounty Bob has been languishing in nondescript caverns for 25 years. Despite the dangers of entering into abandoned uranium mines alone, Bob tirelessly searches every inch of the caves for the treacherous Yukon Yohan. Along the way Bounty Bob must deal with pulverizers, radioactive creatures, and massive amounts of explosives with nothing on his stomach except a donut, coffee, and sip of whisky.

Having evaded pneumoconiosis, a disease common to many miners, Bounty Bob looking surprisingly good for his age. Last year our diligent worker was spotted on cell phones, in a game that recalled his heroic exploits.

About Robert Allen

Since being a toddler, Robert Allen has been immersed in video games, anime, and tokusatsu. Currently, his days are spent teaching at two southern California colleges. But his evenings and weekends are filled with STGs, RPGs, and action titles and well at writing for Tech-Gaming since 2007.

34 comments

  1. Where’s Tom Clancy’s soldiers?

  2. My man busts his ass fighting evil and gets no love?

  3. Kratos is blue collar- he works with his hands.

  4. Pretty funny pics there.

  5. Tony Hawk and Lara Croft work hard too ya know!

  6. Funny mario bio.

  7. Good stuff. I could have read 1 or 2 more.

  8. Never heard of the last game.

  9. Is there really a cooking mama clothing line? Oh those Japanese (if it’s true)

  10. I love that Cooking Mama!!!

  11. Master Chief works long hours for Earths freedom.

  12. No Labor Day in Mexico

  13. Miners get no love.

  14. What about Sam freaking Fischer? Thats guys puts in work!

  15. Minter 2039 carts go for $150-$200 on ebay. Don’t feel bad for Bob.

  16. I think I player Miner before. Mario and Mama of course.

    The guys from battlefield work hard to get the gold.

  17. Funny. good labor day article.

  18. Great pic of unemployed mario. Did Wario take it?

  19. LOL at Don’t Worry Mama will fix it.

  20. Grilled Onion? Haha, I almost fell for it, until I realized Mama was fake.

  21. Miner 2049er. That brought me back.

    Any gamer who complains about how longs todays game are should remember this one.

    It offered a whopping 10 levels (which was a alot back then) for $40.

  22. Talk about sad…

    http://www.bigfivesoftware.com/people/people.htm

    While the main programmer of Miner 2049 is a software engineer, one other guys works for an insurance company, and the other is a set painter.

  23. Don’t feel too bad for me- I’m working in the film industry. You’ll probably see my work if you ever go to the movies.

    Bob thanks you for the recognition- I am still surprised that people remember this game after all these years.

    15-20 years ago, the industry wasn’t doing well, and we couldn’t sell a cartridge. Now people are asking for a reprint. Go figure.

    Great site, you got there!

  24. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    That is very cool.

  25. Interview, TG!

  26. Same as May day? Anyway, hats off to these hard working uh, people.

  27. Great article. LOL!

  28. Never played cooking mama.

  29. Great article, guys. keep ’em coming!

  30. Is that a new Cooking Mama game?

  31. Miner 2049er is the bomb. He would kick Mario and Cooking Mama’s asses with both hands tied behind his back!

  32. Mario is a well-loved character. He will always be a part of my childhood.