Armored Lab Force VULVEHICLES review

With just four months left in the year, it’s safe to say that Armored Lab Force VULVEHICLES will be one of the most creative shoot ‘em ups you’ll play in 2022.

Armored Lab Force Vulvehicles influences are plentiful. The game’s dozen fighters evoke comparison to Master Blaster’s SOPHIA tanks. But whereas the Sunsoft title flaunted a low-gravity jump, vulvehicles are all hovercraft, able to float for extended periods. But they can’t linger in the air indefinitely. Periodically, you’ll have to land on any surface to recharge your boosters. Or you can tag-team another girl to take over the fight, with the Teleport Change maneuver. We’ll get to that in a bit.

Each of the six girls on the Armored Lab Force team pilot two different craft. Echoing the maniac weaponry of Gunstar Heroes, each vulvehicle has a unique offensive ability. Manami’s Kazakura launches a volley of throwing stars that rebound around the environment. Rummy’s Dagger releases a formation of blades that spread out before darting toward the edge of the screen. Q.T., the team’s resident cynic, pilots the Hound which emits an incendiary jet, causing residual damage to anything it touches. Decked out in form-fitting battle uniforms, these girls are as adorable as they are deadly.

Get Inside a Dozen Vulvehicles

In total, Armored Lab Force offers twelve vehicles. Beyond unique main weapons and limited-use but fantastically powerful secondary abilities, they handle quite differently. Some are big and clunky but are capable of releasing powerful warheads that cause as much environmental destruction as the artillery in a Worms game. Others are susceptible but nimble, able to easily evade showers of enemy projectiles across stages that alternate between horizontal and vertical scrolling. Almost all the crafts are a delight to control, feeling like mechanized conduits of pure destruction.

Each vulvehicle also compels a different playstyle. Mirage’s Disrupter beam travels right through platforms on each stage and luring enemies to funnel through tight spaces is an effective tactic. Phono’s Mech Beetle discharges a power beam that burns right through the ground, but it takes a moment to recharge, spurring a different strategy. Then there are the big hulking vulvehicles, who pursue a ‘scorched earth’ policy, destroying nearly every bit of terrain on-screen. Sure, they’re powerful, but you can also inadvertently eliminate a place to land, putting you in a perilous position.

The Possibility of Permadeath?!?

Like the best shooters, it all seems too easy at first, especially on the lower of the game’s five difficulty settings. Likely, you’ll ravage early stages, using vulvehicle weaponry to clear a wide path of destruction. But gradually, the game’s succession of 24 levels escalates in intensity. The game’s lava world splashes magma around like the volcanos in Gradius. The aquatic realm recalls the threatening sea life found in G. Darius, as they track you with lethal intent. Enemy warheads grow stronger and you might get one-shotted by a mighty enemy mecha. Then, there are the obligatory boss showdowns. Given their robust health bars and superior firepower, you’ll need an attack plan. But given these adversaries have a partiality for ramming into you, you’ll also need a backup scheme.

Once a vulvehicle is destroyed, it’s gone for good. As such, you’ll want to take a few precautions. One of the best methods is Teleport Change, allowing you to shift to one of the other Armored Lab Force members on your team. You’ll have to be on flat land to initiate the swap, but it can potentially save a damaged vulvehicle if there are no repair icons around. The other thing you’ll want to do is deploy your crafts cautiously. Losing access to one of your favorite crafts can produce remorse across Armored Lab Force’s 24 stage trek. Yes, depending on your selected difficulty, you’ll be able to continue from the last completed level, but it is entirely possible to paint the girls into a corner.

Conclusion

Armored Lab Force Vulvehicles bookends its missions with a bit of banter from the cast. It’s not remarkable storytelling by any means but it does endow the cast members with personality, with the occasional barb or explanation. And it’s here that the game’s one blemish becomes particularly noticeable: everything is rendered in SNES-style resolutions. The Armored Lab Force team is endowed with impeccable midriffs and quite a bit of curvaceousness. It’s a shame that the cutscenes aren’t offered in higher fidelity.

Knocking Vulvehicles visuals nearly feels unfair. Peer past the pixelated output and you’ll find a unique STG that provides a multiplicity of powerful, gratifying weapons and plenty of autonomy with how you can progress through each stage. While Astro Port has a prodigious body of work, this is their best effort yet.

Armored Lab Force VULVEHICLES was played
on PC with review code provided by the publisher.