Tech-Gaming Technology, Gaming, and Culture
To celebrate the release of DeathSpank, the comical action-role playing game from Ron Gilbert (Maniac Mansion, The Secret of Monkey Island), were inviting our readers to get spanked. Like many forms of corporal punishment, provocation delightfully simple- all readers have to do is create a caption for the screenshot shown above. In keeping with the game’s Teen rating, please avoid anything too vulgar, lest you find out what our next level of reprimand holds.
We’ll be choosing two winners (one for the Xbox 360 and one for the Playstation 3) when we record our next podcast, which should be live on July 22nd, 2010. Good luck to all!
“Don’t make me play my posterior trumpet, justice -dealer”
Damnit, my sole weakness is the Justin Bieber attack. How could these dogs have known?
Screw this sword, I’m killing that fool and taking his TRUMPET! YEAH!
Not only are you tone deaf, but you’re about to be tone dead, evil doer!
“A little help here, glowmomkey!”
Did I tell about about the time I took down final boss Miles Davis?
Go ahead keeping playing that song. You’ll soon be OFF key and ON life support.
FFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDOMMMMMMMMMMMM!
I wonder what kind of loot you things drop.
Why you froze up there? Come over and spank that trumpeter!
The mid boss had a clarinet. I should have known.
“All right, they’re on our left, they’re on our right, they’re in front of us, and they’re behind us.. They can’t get away this time! ” – A USMC quote that seemed appropriate here. =O
A Trumpet? I shall block the sound with my chest! Surrounded!? Hm… Think you’ve got the advantage now!? Ha ha ha!
“The devil went down to Georgia looking for a soul to steal, I play the best trumpet you have ever heard”
Semper Fi! Woo-hoo
“You can burn my Woman at the stake, you can play loud music, but don’t you ever disrespect the USA”
When a group of midgets has ganged up on you always trust your handy dandy trumpet man to save the day.
TideGear is surrounded by readers demanding his pick of the week.
Poker Face eh!? Your death shall be most painful!
*Looks over at man playing the trumpet* Wow, now I know why these little guys are so aggressive…
“WOW this unicorn $@%# really made my armor shiny”
“Listen to my new song! *Toot, toot* Time to die!”
See the guy with the glowing hands, he took the last twinkie! Lets get him boys!
“ENOUGH with the vuvuzelas!”
2010 FIFA World Cup: The Final Straw
“Does this shield protect against musical notes?”
“Image depicting Nintendo VS Microsoft & Sony at E3 2010”
“Get your ppstick ready to spank!”
American Idol: The Dark Ages
“This right here is tha new joint. Throw ya swords up in the air, and wave ’em like you just don’t care. Cause we like the ladies who don’t wear no underwear”
Good luck!
“I block your trumpet attack with my grumpy old man shield, now face the wrath of my moon-faced companion!”
DeathSpank Some Say Repetitive I Say Ya MaMa 360
Spank on through to the other side!
“good thing that shield blocks crappy music”
Behold: the Deaf Shield.
In Soviet Russia savage beasts sooth YOU with music!
I have ogres to the left of me and trumpets to the right-here I am stuck in the middle with you!
Pion, your playing has no effect on me. My resistance has been increased by WiiMusic.
“OK, that’s it! Could you guy’s please just pawn your swords and buy Gaga some normal threads?!?”
I know all that Guitar Hero practice would come in handy one day.
As soon as this monstrous bellhop quits tooting his own horn, I – DEATHSPANK – will administer punishing justice to this horde of Quasimoto’s!
And thus, Lady Gaga was immortalized in the annals of video game history in her true form…
Tooting your own horn is gonna get your ass killed one day.
Behold the power of rock…..Oh this isn’t Brutual Legend?
Your about two seconds away from learning why this game is called DeathSpank!
Man, this is the last time I come to Arizona without my papers!
Lousy agent. “Easiest gold you’ll ever make” he says. “Put some hurt on the Pied Piper and his little mice, great publicity with little risk” he says. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted anyone who glows!
He and I are going to have a serious discussion later…
“Your trumpet notes are no match for my Shield of Deaf!”
“Don’t make me get my tuba…”
“It was at this point in time that Death Spank thought to himself what was more annoying the music or the escort mission he accepted….”
– You thought that I wouldn’t come prepared against your Vuvuzela of Death, ha!
– BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
– AAAAAAARRRGH!
Any version is ok, although I would prefer the PSN version, thank you!
Ok, Deagle start picking off the enemies!
Your freeform jazz is no match against the almighty power of ROCK… shield.
Nobody move! I just lost my contact lens.
PS3
“Beans. Beans. The magical fruit. The more you eat…”
PSN
Ron Gilbert why didn’t you think of co-op at a time like this??!?
We’ll the native aren’t completely hostile. They’re playing some supper music. Shit, maybe we ARE the dinner!
NO NOT THE d’s! NOT THE d’s! AHHHHHHH THEY’RE IN MY EYES! THEY’RE IN MY EYES! AHHHH GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHGGggagadsduhg
Mr. Spank, you think this would be a good time to drop the hammer?
WELL WHATTYA WAITING FOR?!?
She spanked me all night long
Time to die, you backwoods panty sniffers!
THE worst elementry school rectital ever
Lebron, why did you have to go ahead and choose the Heat? Now the Cavaliers are coming to kill us.
Xbox 360.
Tone-death to the max!
Who’s your favorite little rascal Alfalfa or Spanky?
“9 note streak?! HA! Is that all you’ve got trumpet hero?”
PSN: KevinMassacre
XboxLive: KevinMassacre
“One of these things is not like the other, one of these things isn’t the same…” – 360 🙂
Being attacked by a magical trumpet?
-Easily guarded.
Surrounded by more than 20 enemies?
-Just a few swings of the sword.
Having an eccentric purple wizard named Sparkles as a sidekick?
-Priceless.
Getting attacked by a magical trumpet?
-Easily guarded.
Being surrounded by over 20 enemies?
-Just a few swings of the sword.
Having an eccentric purple wizard named Sparkles as your sidekick?
-Priceless.
(Xbox 350 if I win please! Thank you for giving me the chance at this giveaway!)
Sorry that I posted twice, I forgot to mention which console first and I thought that I had stopped the page in time to not submit the comment.
“The wish of a soccer fan – showing up in armed forces to shun the vuvuzela players”
I’ll take a ps3.
No problem!
“I counter your Trumpet of a Thousand Nagging House Wives with my Smiling Luchador Shield!”
Xbox would be swell. 🙂
Prince (left) and Kenny G (right) battle to determine whether the internet lives… or dies! Will glitter and overpowering sexual magnetism triumph over smooth jazz??
PSN preferred, but Xbox is welcome! Thanks!
It was all fun and games until some of the locals decided to dress up like the Village People.
“I’m sorry I didn’t know she was married!”
Xbox 360 if I win please
LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENKINS!
oh yea, and ps3 version plz
I seriously hate band camp…
Ha! Your puny trumpet has no effect me…I was at the 2010 World Cup!
Okay…how’s about I give you my purple friend here, and you stop waving pointy things at me?
PSN
PSN please if possible.
And I thought the vuvuzelas were annoying…
(x360)
– “The SHIELD! It does nothing!”
– “Spanks anyways.”
I pick up the game very other year. I’m still playing NCAA 10, so I’ll wait for 12 or a deal on 11.
“Sorry Guys. I guess I take the wrong turn earlier on. I didn’t know I would end up in the disco… but anymway let’s move that thong” 😉
The guy on the left must be on that purple stuff
Introducing the new Rockband 3 Trumpet of Death
“Vile creature, that tune shall be played on the day of your funeral. Funny, that day is today! Have at thee!”
XBLA
Forgot to mention I’d prefer the XBLA version on the off chance I win.
Thanks guys~
“Oh no, The Pied Piper of Hunchback Midgets!”
I’m terrible: X360
“As the ages passed, Mick and Keith began to grow weary of the swordplay before every performance. Now, they’re just content to open with ‘Start Me Up.'”
(360)
Sneak peek of Guitar Hero 7: Warriors of the Trumpet.
(360 version, please)
GUNTER GLIEBEN GLAUCHEN GLOBEN
‘Let’s play “musical spanks”! All of you get in a circle around me and I spank all of you. When the music stops, whoever isn’t spanked moves on to the next round. Then we do it again until only two remain! The person I don’t spank out of the two of you wins. What do you win? A spanking!’
I was told this was the place to come for quiet reflection and tranquil meditation!!!
“Erm, this is one hell of a panty raid…”
XBOX 360 please!
“In Deathspank’s world, first you get the money, then you get the power, THEN you get the women. That is, unless you get side tracked by the Trumpeter’s lullaby and never quite make it past level 10. The world may be yours…or not.”
360.
I’m not a stranger. I’m DeathSpank! Now get in the bag…
PSN!
Well at least this is better than the Lady Gaga concert that I accidentally went to.
PSN
Their atempts at fetting a mosh pit started didn’t work out so well 🙂
You are doing it all wrong. Turn the trumpet around and play it.
If I win, I would like the code for my PS3
Ron Gilbert, eff yeah!
I don’t think they should have made a sequel to Inception.
psn
XBLA please 🙂
“These knob goblins and their tooting overload are no match for my purple monkey dishwasher of justice!!!”
Aiieee! This is a fate worse than death…a tone death trumpeter and his projectile spittle!
PSN
Here’s the plan…I turn tail and run while you vanquish the horn tooting evil overlord and his cronies!
“He will distroy us all with the killing power of Justin Beiber music!!!”