Prime Monster review

There’s an old joke that says anyone who is drawn to political power is exactly the kind of person who should never be allowed near it. From a comfort with manipulation and deception, a general apathy toward undesirable consequences, and reoccurring breaches of public trust, there are some sociopathic qualities to the political personality. And while Cavalier Game Studios’ Prime Monster collects a cast of make-believe fiends for its satirical takedown, at times it conveys the honesty of a documentary. There’s some truth among the fangs and filibusters.

Prime’s premise envisions our world governed by literal monsters after the fall of humankind. These are the creatures that fiction has repeatedly used as a metaphor for the powerful preying on the powerless. Like the aristocratic Dracula feasting on the blood of innocents, our frights often tap into some of our deep-rooted fears. Here, they’ve formed their own parliament, carrying on the long-standing traditions of debate, policy legislation, and dirty dealings. The result looks eerily close to our own set of representatives and that’s kind of scary.

Monster Loyalty Over Basic Non-Human Dignity

You play as one of three political figures, from Chopper Badstone of Orcs-4-U, the Viscount Sucksworth of Vampiric Victory, or Rotilda De Cay of The Zombified People’s Movement. None of these aren’t subtle characterizations but they are fascinating, with an outward allegiance to their faction of fiends and an indifference toward any outsiders.

After a non-elective tutorial, you’ll step into the role of Badstone. Unexpectedly, juggling deckbuilding, party unity, and the loyalty of parliament members (MP) can feel overwhelming at first, but Prime Monster takes it easy on you. The result is you’ll find yourself failing upward, which feel like a joke with a joke. And Cavalier delivers plenty of those across each run.

Winning Hearts and Minds With Cutthroat Coercion

The game’s card-based roguelike structure envisions your arena as the parliament floor, your opponents as different monsters, and your goal to build enough political capital to help pass the kind of devious legislation you’ve promised your party. Mechanically, Prime Monster will likely be lumped in with titles like Slay the Spire; but that’s probably a rather oversimplistic comparison.

Instead of typical fantasy elements like health bars, you’ll be fighting for the votes of individual members of Parliament, by belittling your opponent and cultivating favor for your stance. Combat is imagined as a high stakes debate, as you strive to protect your MPs, while dazing or even killing your opponents’ followers. Undoubtedly, there’s more to keep track of in this demonic democracy, but that’s all part of the fun.

And yes, cheating is all part of the fun, with the Shrieker of the House making sure things don’t get completely dishonest. The reaper in a peruke operates like a referee, swooping in when debates flirt with outright fraud and slapping penalties on the most egregious abuses of democracy. That said, the system still allows plenty of underhanded tactics to flourish. Essentially, you’re encouraged to bend the rules, stack the deck, and exploit loopholes. But the Shrieker with his eye-dice rolls never lets the system collapse into nonsense.

Build Your Own Bureaucracy Workshop

Delightfully, the game’s system are just as clever as its satire. Every card in your hand can be played outright or exchanged for political capital, which are points needed for every action. And while the mechanic provides players with a bit more freedom on each turn, it’s also in-line with Prime Monster’s philosophy. Yes, policy is secondary; it’s capital that truly is your most precious resource.

The laws you push through Parliament, referred to as initiatives, are where Prime Monster’s wit truly shine. From pushing for same-hex marriage, the release of the Nosferatu files, a bid to decriminalize arson, to walking speed limits for zombies, a lot of thinking went into them. When it comes to laughs-per-minute, Prime Monster delivers, with the kind of clever writing that’s absent from television these days. While appreciating Brit-wit isn’t mandatory, it will probably heighten your enjoyment of the game. But as good as the game is, a few dodgy elements can soil the fun. I’d like to both retrack moves and see better controller support. As present, Monster is suited for mouse controls.

You and I Are the Real Monsters

Best of all, Prime Monster’s mechanics don’t get in the way of the satire. You don’t just read about broken promises and survive-at-all-costs governance, you are thrust into it. You feel the thrill of getting away with a lie and the gratification of sacrificing a colleague or principal for your own slefish good. You can read about how power corrupts all day long. But there will come a time in Prime Monster where you’ll do anything for it and realize you have become the monster. Scary stuff, indeed.

Prime Monster was played on PC with review code provided by the publisher.