FULL METAL SCHOOLGIRL review

Osaka-based Yuke’s has long embraced the absurd, from the over-the-top theatrics in WWE SmackDown! to the insect-gunning action of Earth Defense Force: Iron Rain. With FULL METAL SCHOOLGIRL, the studio revisits its love for camp and chaos. The result is a title that feels plucked from the PlayStation 2’s library of delightfully eccentric action games. Blending the vivid colors and cel-shading of a shonen anime, an arsenal of ranged and melee weapons, FULL METAL doesn’t neglect giving us a heaping helping of B-movie-style ridiculousness.

As such, the game’s premise is satirical pulp, imagining the economy of 2089 Japan dominated by Meternal Jobz, a megacorporation that enforces nonstop labor through undead corporate clankers known as the “Working Dead”. You take the role of a customizable cyborg schoolgirl, selecting from two nearly identical protagonists armed with chainsaw limbs and access to an absurd amount of weaponry.

Gunning Your Way to the Top

Expectedly, your mission to put an end to the unscrupulous business model. This entails ascending the floors of a hundred-story office building, annihilating rooms of drones, all before assassinating the CEO. Wisely, Yuke’s keeps the focus on the action rather than the exposition, using the premise as a catalyst for workplace destruction. But FULL METAL rarely forgets to be playful. Whether its schoolgirls taunt you for trying to grab an upskirt peek or how the game imagines your revenge being livestreamed for viewer donations, the game basks in self-aware humor. Best of all, the localization team did an outstanding job at capturing the temperament of an online audience.

Your trek up to the executive offices is filled with procedurally generated rooms, destructible furniture, and quirky robo-suits who act as minibosses. Between missions, your chosen schoolgirl will upgrade her cybernetic limbs and install experimental mods that tweak her abilities. These are of course, just as unrestrained as the rest of the game, turning a dropkick into a guided missile or converting your dodge roll into a teleporting dash. Like any respectable roguelike, these augmentations bring a bit of unpredictability that keeps each run feeling distinct, even when you’re revisiting familiar environments.

Critiquing, yet Copying Grind Culture

Yes, the core loop of advancing through office floors does flirt with repetition. Each run tasks you with clearing largely similar environments filled with waves of familiar enemies. Even worse, the game uses consumable keys that exacerbate the feeling of backtracking This inevitably brings a sense of monotony, especially since room layouts and enemy types can feel sparse at times.

But SCHOOLGIRL does try to counter this with a few mechanics. Optional challenges might provide reward for clearing rooms quickly or refraining from using a health-regenerating battery charge. And there’s also randomized loot that can dramatically alter combat styles across each run. Undoubtedly, some overpowered devices mean you probably won’t utilize all of FULL METAL’s hardware. But discovering which weapons work best is part of the fun.

Kicking Ass and Looking Cool While Doing It

If there’s one thing that makes FULL METAL SCHOOLGIRL memorable, it’s the game’s attitude. Every encounter feels like a punchline seasoned with shrapnel, from power-up screens that parody corporate slogans to boss fights yelling motivational hashtags. Best of all, there’s a strong sense of confidence, recalling mid-2000s action curios such as God Hand or P.N.03. Yuke’s clearly knows this is a scruffy shooter and sensibly doesn’t try to sand down its rough edges. Instead, it embraces the chaos and slight unevenness, converting the absurdity into the appeal.

With its infectious energy and sharp humor, FULL METAL SCHOOLGIRL is the embodiment of over-the-top, action gaming. Its fast-paced combat, combining explosive firepower with hard hitting melee strikes, is good enough to keep the adrenaline surging. Sure, there’s some repetition and the decision to gatekeep progress behind consumable keys is exasperating. But when the dust settles and the copy machines stop firing staplers, FULL METAL SCHOOLGIRL is reminder that chaos, when delivered with confidence, can be its own kind of art form. It’s messy, loud, and gloriously unserious.

FULL METAL SCHOOLGIRL was played on PC with review code provided by the publisher.